acomedido
Are we paying attention? Are our children paying attention? Sure!
To their ipads and other devices.
To their friends.
To the culture.
Most of the time to anyone but the someone telling or asking them to do something. This isn't the way it has to be though.
There was some research done over about 30 years time on children in the Mexican/Guatemalan indigenous families about how their children are astutely aware of how they can help, not only in random ways but in the way YOU NEED, RIGHT NOW.
After reading the article, I slumped over in regret because I was already 3 kids deep and one trailing and pulling up the rear. No wonder the last kid is always more responsible and keen to others feelings (said from the youngest's point of view! ha) At least I can try with the older 3 to give them a fighting chance and the youngest will get the full dose of this method.
The term "acomedido" is defined by Andrew Coppens, an education researcher at the University of New Hampshire, who collaborates with Rogoff as "not just doing what you're told, and it's not just helping out. It's knowing the kind of help that is situationally appropriate because you're paying attention."
Isn't that what we could all use more of? Perfectly timed, astute help!
I did have a few students years ago that were Mixteco (read in the link if you are unfamiliar). They were incredibly helpful, humble, and kind. They never asked for themselves, the only questions they had were to clarify something I taught.
In Exodus 17:12, Aaron and Hur modeled this trait when they held up Moses’ arms when he grew tired. He was responsible for holding up his staff for as long as it took to win the Battle of Rephidim against the Amalekites. They didn’t ask for anything in return, they only knew that it was for the good of God’s people. In Galatians 6:2 we are reminded to bear each other’s burdens with grace and after the model of Jesus Christ. To add a bit of history, Paul was more than frustrated with the Galatians because some were trying to go backwards to Mosaic law, which in Paul’s conviction, would be to reject grace and forgiveness and therefore live under the pretense that one needed to earn salvation through works and deeds. When we bear one another’s burdens, we don’t keep a score sheet of favors and we don’t seek to be reimbursed. Those following Christ should offer help and assistance in any way to their neighbors because that is what God’s command was to us; Love God, love your neighbor. In his letter to the Philippians, he reminds us of this tenant again, “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others.” Acomedido is marked throughout the Bible, in Hebrews 13:16 Paul wrote, “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” This was clearly a sticking point for Paul.
Your sacrifice of time, money, and effort do not go unnoticed by your Father; as a child or as an adult. Continuing to press into this idea through Hebrews that God will not forsake you or let your good works with loving intention go unnoticed. You will be rewarded, maybe not here on earth, but in heaven.
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”
It’s natural for most people to feel taken advantage of when we give and give with nothing in return on this side of heaven. A verse I used to have hung in my kitchen, intentionally where I could see if from the sink, is this scripture that we must write on our hearts as conviction.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Colossians 3:22-24 (NIV)
I wanted these traits in my own children. Really, I want these traits in myself. I would love to be able to love on someone in a perfectly appropriate and needed way each time. But how? Try to not only teach wanted traits, but also model doing the same for your child or people around around you. If you see your husband struggling with a task, offer help. If you see clothing or toys on the floor that needs to be put away, just do it. When you see someone help others, verbally notice it and thank them. Our actions together with our words mold little minds and hopefully sharpen ours.
We could all use a little more compassionate attention these days. How are you modeling this for your children, spouse, or neighbors?
