Just take the first step.
Trust.
This word has spoken to me over the past few weeks so specifically that it’s hard to ignore or to consider as simply coincidence or happenstance. I have a book by Joyce Meyers called Unshakeable Trust that has been sitting on my nightstand for probably 5+ years and I have yet to read it. I picked it up about a week ago because I needed some thing to kick start my Bible Study habit and I didn’t want to go out and buy something new. I also didn't want to spend hours or days or even weeks looking for and researching the perfect Bible study. So, I grabbed it and it happened to be the most perfect Bible study that I needed at this moment in time.
God placed me into a role that I am not qualified for on paper, but he has been preparing my heart and my mind for it for many years and pushing me in a direction that I was unsure of and truly did not understand. I was often fighting against His plan by coming up with my own ways, morphing my plans into something that sounded like it could have come from Him. Maybe those ideas and decisions did come from the Spirit and it all led me here? Or maybe I was selfishly looking for what I wanted my purpose to be until He finally steered me to where He wanted me to be through using all my self-driven decisions and weaving them into a more powerful story and testimony for His glory. I would bet it is probably the latter.
I drove into work today surrounded by mountains and desert landscape. Normally, I would be complaining because 75% of the time, the desert is miserable. It's hot. It's dry. There are animals I'd rather not be around.
But, I had a thought that the desert could possibly be God's metaphor for life and His plans for us. Just like with Him and His plans, I can choose to see the desert as brown and boring and ugly and dry and hot or I can see it as his masterpiece, weaving all of this together to bloom when the time is right and create something I could never have imagined. The parts of my story where I didn't ask for His guidance may be the dry, boring, or heated moments in my life, just like the desert I can't seem to escape. (Seriously, I want out of here! There are so many beautiful places in this country and world, why I am I stuck where I am surrounded by brown?! I don't enjoy playing the game of "Stick or Snake")
Many people have responded to me in similar fashion when I explain that I am going to be a middle school counselor, that this is right where I needed to be. Which was very surprising to me! But this morning I read 2 Corinthians 12:9 which teaches about becoming sufficient only through Christ and only through the Spirit. I am leaning heavily on the Spirit because today is my first day of work. I really have no idea what I am supposed to be doing or what time I’m even supposed to be there. I don’t know exactly who to go to for help or guidance, so right now I will lean on God to direct my work, my hands, and my voice to where He needs me to be. Only through Him and His love will I be able to work within the masterpiece He is creating.
Recalling how this story took a sharp turn, I was moved by the Spirit at the end of the school year when I voiced my concerns about a new counselor coming in and not understanding our students. I spoke passionately about equity, trauma, suicide, and all the other situations our students may go through and GOD MOVED ME. I took an innocent move forward and He took care of the rest.
I still have no clue why He thinks I am capable of this role, BUT I am going to prepare my mind, body, and soul for this journey and pray incessantly that He fills in what I lack.
