The Middle School Perspective
I talk and write a lot about perspective in regards to relating to kids and building relationships, especially middle school kids.
At their age and developmental stage, the perspective of others is wildly important, therefore they think about themselves and how they are perceived a LOT.
When we chat with kids, and other’s, attempt to use empathetic perspective-taking skills and see how much more compassion, empathy and understanding grows instead of jumping to conclusions.
When listening stop coming up with your response to them in your head. Actively listen. (Proverbs 18:2 > A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.)
Cease all judgment. Seriously. (John 8:7 > When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'“)
Don’t plan on giving advice or sharing your own experience. There is a time and place for this, it’s just not right now. (Proverbs 29:23 > A man’s pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.)
Use questions to develop understanding of what influenced their decisions or actions. (Psalm 119: 130 > The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.)
Summarize what they are saying to you ensure you “get it.” (Proverbs 2:2 > Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;)
If it’s not during a conflict, ask if they would like to hear your perspective. If it is, offer your perspective using those glamorous “I” statements. You know the ones. (Philippians 2:3-4 > Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.)
At least with middle school kids….and their parents/ guardians, they just want to know they were heard and understood.
1 Peter 4: 8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
If you can relate great, if not, don’t force it. Empathize…it’s Biblical.
Romans 12: 16 > Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Galatians 6: 2> Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
